https://slama.dev/comeback/
And so Lucky and Planer lived happily ever after.
You won't believe what happened to me.
I was shopping, putting things on the belt, and this woman just starts screaming at me.
You forgot to weigh your cauliflower?
So I politely apologized and said I'd go weigh it now then.
And she goes, oh sure, and the people behind you will just wait, we all have plenty of time, right?
So I told her I don't care if people wait.
I said I want my cauliflower.
And she goes again.
You must be doing this on purpose!
Can you believe it?
They hire nothing but psychos there.
So I threw the cauliflower at her head.
So no cauliflower dish!
On these skis I personally beat Vit Vavra in slalom.
Now they're yours.
They're not.
I'm getting a snowboard.
Well, the situation has developed differently.
How?
We don't have money.
You promised me a snowboard.
But Ivuska, it's just a trend.
I have a feeling in a few years nobody will care about snowboards.
But skis, those are a classic.
And these you won't have to break in.
I won't, because I'm getting a snowboard.
You've been promising me one for four years.
But these skis were the best on the market in their day.
Yeah, and you got a gold record in your day.
Don't be cheeky!
When you learn how hard it is to earn money, you'll agree with me.
Yeah, but first I'll learn what it's like to go skiing and be the only idiot with skis.
Even Sasa and Lexa will have snowboards.
Really?
Yeah.
You don't have to have everything everyone else has.
Try to stand out.
Be original.
Alright, I'll leave them here, have a look but don't scratch them.
Mambo.
But this is really the last time.
Right, that's enough.
Where to?
Two beers?
You just said you'd be here during work hours.
And you said if I stopped drinking before noon I'd feel better.
And I don't.
Stay here.
If you feel sick, drink some water.
Some what?
Iva also said you don't keep your promises.
You tattled?
I'll tattle too.
You don't take out the trash.
I'm quite surprised you even know trash gets taken out.
At most I said I'd take it out, not that I'd keep taking it out.
I don't care.
You just don't keep your promises.
Ozzak.
So you also think I don't keep my promises?
Absolutely.
Although, yesterday you promised to let me go home early and you didn't.
Well, a shipment came in, so obviously that wasn't possible.
Of course, you're absolutely right.
See.
And you promised I could store my Lostice Miracle here in the shop.
I haven't even seen what the hell that is yet.
And what the hell is it?
A delicacy.
Cheese curds with onion pickled in beer, aged three days under a heat lamp.
Some promises definitely should not be kept.
Obviously, right?
I'd take them.
We're not getting snowboards either in the end.
Adults always say something and then don't follow through.
You can't trust them at all.
I don't want to go skiing this year with a sled, Kropackova keeps making fun of me.
Everyone keeps making fun of me.
I get that.
I'd also want Bobby.
I guess we'll have to take matters into our own hands.
And how?
There's bound to be plenty of part-time jobs for students.
Ooh, Iva, that's great.
Hey, like this one.
Looking for nice, healthy girls for occasional evening work.
Hmm, you wouldn't like that.
At least I hope.
Watch the genius.
I already know how to get a snowboard.
You ride on top.
Wanna be cool?
Win a super snowboard.
We'll ride up top, jump and also go with the teddy bear.
That last one was my idea.
I'm an idiot.
I almost expected something.
Wait!
Every five-hundredth package has a winning coupon.
This is the fifth, I have six at home.
Just over three hundred to go.
They probably take out the coupons at the stores anyway.
Sure, in stores, but they don't hire just anyone.
Not just anyone.
You too can work with us.
Are you a student, not exactly sure what minimum wage is, managed to read this ad? Harold Supermarket welcomes you to its team.
Positions available.
Cash register operator, cosmetics of perishable goods, warehouse worker.
What if we tried it?
But we couldn't handle it.
I don't see why we couldn't.
What about me?
You're in luck.
They also hire the disabled.
Great!
The garbage men complained about you.
You fell asleep in front of the entrance again and they had to throw the bins over you.
So what?
So you, Ozzak, also don't keep your promises.
Me?
What? That's impossible.
And you promised you wouldn't drink so much.
I must have been drunk, otherwise I wouldn't have blabbed like that.
No, really.
If I were sober and promised something, I'd keep it.
Unlike you.
But when I can, I keep my promises too.
Sure, sure.
Then why couldn't you ask the building manager if I could grow some flowers in the yard?
Because it was supposed to be hemp, poppy and jimsonweed.
And you promised to buy a bigger fridge so I don't have to keep cooling my beer in the toilet tank.
No, I said if we have the money.
You said I could fatten a pig.
At home?
At the Badger.
You're always making excuses.
You also don't keep promises.
Look, name me one that...
Yeah, once at auntie's cabin you promised you'd earn the Silent Beaver badge.
You were supposed to be silent for three days and you didn't do it either.
I got a new guitar, I had to sing.
See, you make excuses too.
Fine, have it your way.
What?
I'll keep my promises, even years later.
So you're going to be silent for three days?
You'll never last.
And how will you order a beer?
Well, suit yourself.
And don't think you won't be selling normally here.
He'll never last.
We can't handle this.
We can.
Although learning twenty-seven types of pastry will be something.
Why does a seven-cent roll have a six-digit code?
Two, three, seven, one, eight, nine.
Two, three, seven, eight, damn.
We can't handle this.
A sesame bun and a sesame roll look exactly the same.
The bun has twenty-seven seeds and the roll has forty.
I see.
Luckily I don't have to learn anything.
The warehouse will be a breeze.
Did you find some disabled friends there?
Actually, the guys are totally normal.
Everyone's on first name terms, and when I visited, nobody was doing anything.
And look, a doughnut with strawberry jam has the exact same code as apricot, just the last number is different.
3358 and 3359.
See, so it'll go fast.
Besides, I'll only be there briefly anyway.
Until I find the right door.
You're awfully quiet today.
Really?
Didn't tell mom who goes to night classes.
Didn't tell Maruna to come to the Morgue tonight.
Didn't give the exam board my excuse note that I unexpectedly died.
Didn't give Ida's second middle name as Sepultura.
Is that everything?
Hey, don't you want to quit this silence thing?
I won't tell anyone.
It's going to be some evening.
Don't you want to just go home?
I shouldn't have asked, huh?
A list of Tomas's broken promises?
What?
This.
You know why I didn't help Aunt Greta move?
She was seventh at the Olympics in weightlifting, I'd have been useless there.
Which Olympics?
Berlin.
Well, that was quite a while ago.
You could have helped the poor old woman.
Poor?
She could have carried all three of us.
That I promised you a motorcycle for Christmas?
I said write to Santa, and I was eight.
Jesus, how much of this is there?
Will you give it a rest with the methylated spirits already.
It was ages ago.
Methylated spirits?
When we had a band, that was his favorite song.
Every time I sang it, I lost my voice for a week.
You really went into a lot of detail.
What?
That I didn't fix Iva's drawer?
Okay, I forgot.
Mr. Ozzak, you have to help me.
You were definitely in the army, right?
How do you clean a floor with a toothbrush?
Beer.
Should I pour beer on it?
So not pour.
So pour?
Well, Ozzak probably can't help you, Lexa, even though you'd definitely need it.
Mr. Ozzak!
He's childishly trying to prove he keeps his promises.
He's doing the Silent Beaver, so come back the day after tomorrow.
I don't have that much time.
I have to eat my dinner off this floor tonight.
Keeping promises isn't easy, so no one can blame you for giving up.
Or forgetting.
Tomas, don't you think something smells funny here lately?
Like something's rotting?
But what do I see?
Yeah, we're doing part-time jobs to learn the true value of money.
I commend you for taking such a responsible approach.
Welcome, kids, to the world of grown-ups.
Yeah, it's great, everything's smooth sailing.
This is awful.
I can't take it anymore.
Stupid walnut snail.
That's the one code I can't remember and everyone keeps buying it like crazy.
772893201.
Right.
Say it one more time.
772893201.
Wow, you're really good now.
Yeah, what's the point if nobody comes to my register?
Well, you need to make yourself more visible.
Register open.
Now say it.
Probably not loud enough.
No, I'm saying it normally.
Register open.
No, I'm saying it.
Register open.
Am I supposed to scream?
Register open!
For God's sake, don't yell in here.
At least they'd notice you.
And stop coming to mine all the time.
I couldn't handle it.
Tomorrow I'm called in by the boss, she'll definitely fire me.
Look, if she tries to fire you, we'll quit too.
Right, Lexa?
What?
Would you give up your awesome gig in the warehouse?
Well, it's not actually that awesome.
So it's not the chill place where everyone's on first name terms?
Well, the guys are pretty chill and they really are on first name terms.
Only I have to address them formally and call them sir.
Well if that's all, you've got nothing to complain about.
I don't.
The boss said I'd better not complain anywhere.
But once I have that snowboard, nobody will ask if I had to run around the warehouse naked a hundred times.
What?
Good.
How are the new Black Agony?
Good, I'll take them.
I was also thinking about Napalm Death.
What do you think?
Weak, huh.
I can see you really know your stuff.
Yeah, my buddy told me Kabati apparently put out something decent.
Sure, right.
At least I won't spend as much then.
Later.
I have to admit, thanks to those signs Lexa brought from work, you sell more than when you talk.
Excuse me, do you have the new Britney Spears?
Come on, it smells weird in here anyway.
Were you out shopping?
I went to check on Ivuska.
She looked really nice.
She smiled at me like she hasn't in a long time.
I'm really proud of her.
I'm glad the kids are working too.
They even got free work overalls, right?
Sweet girl, above the register it says ask me anything.
So I asked her when she's coming home.
She said 538 flat.
Either way, if they keep doing this well, I'll ditch the Badger.
And?
So far I'm only charging them water and sewage, but I'll add electricity and gas.
Which reminds me, you promised to pay for Ozzak.
1062.
Well, the situation has sort of developed.
I don't have it now.
At a party in '88 you promised you'd never leave me hanging.
You keep doing it!
I hope you don't also have some kind of list.
Does a chicken and a turkey look the same to you?
Some idiot stole all the signs and everyone keeps asking me.
Hi.
Hi, hey uncle.
Where'd you get this?
Lexa?
Jesus, he'll have to return it or I'll have to report him.
Oh great, miss inspector.
I can't help it.
The boss said I'm perfect for it, nobody notices me.
How are you doing?
At least you don't get those people.
It's always the same types.
Argumentative grannies, confused old dudes, sweaty stinkers.
So you're happy when someone normal shows up.
Like who?
Like me.
You're a classic confused old dude.
By the time you find your change, my shift is over.
Iva.
Argumentative grannies.
Who come to argue because in the flyer spinach is one crown cheaper.
That's the worst.
Iva, you shouldn't talk about customers like that.
I don't see why not.
And you don't smile enough.
We're not at work right now.
I can't take it anymore, I'm done.
Being an adult isn't easy, is it?
And it's not worth it either.
Walk away, run from the first problem.
Fine, I'll stick it out two more weeks.
But I need a different register, I'd go crazy here.
I've got the speaker right above my head.
Register seven open, register four open, register five open.
You look uptight, I'll make you cocoa.
Cocoa, so you wake up better.
Cleanup on seven, hurry up.
The boss said I shouldn't complain.
The time has come.
What is this?
The Lostice Miracle.
In the Olomouc region, in the seventeenth century it supposedly...
Brought a dead farmhand back to life.
Lucky he can't smell anything.
And when you bet in Moravia that you'd drink a bottle of plum brandy through your nose?
Right?
He won.
He's had burnt sinuses ever since.
Wait.
So, Marcelka, can I serve you a portion?
You don't even have to, it'll come out on its own.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I'll never allow this in the shop again.
Well, maybe, if you say so, maybe.
Alright then.
And you, bro, have some too.
What? I can't hear anything.
What?
Guess he doesn't want any.
Never mind.
Vitamins?
He probably wants a banana.
I still can't hear anything.
And yet one simple yes would be more than enough.
Marcelka, such a delicacy requires a proper beverage.
What, you want to tell us something, bro?
I understand, but unfortunately I couldn't carry more.
Here you go.
So how did it go?
In a few days I'll be cashier of the month.
I'll finally get out of that horrible register seven.
And I'll have my photo on the wall.
Today there was only one small incident.
You shouldn't have yelled at that lady.
She dumped ice cream on the belt.
Well, that's not such a disaster.
You know what ice cream does on the belt?
Then everything gets stuck together.
You know what the head cashier says?
Swallow it, suck it up, and go scream it out in the tunnel.
I waited five minutes for a rag.
I could have easily done three more carts in that time.
You get points for carts.
Also for neat appearance.
And you got a bit disheveled during the yelling, so I had to dock you one point.
What?
And two for yelling at a customer.
She did that on purpose!
Even so, Iva, remember the 3Gs.
Greet, ask graciously, give thanks, and smile.
Come on, Ivuska, don't be sad.
Do you know where the pliers are?
Household goods department, third shelf.
Iva, enough.
This can't go on.
Here, take the money, buy a snowboard.
Marcelka from Harold won't get her bonus until next month.
Don't you have anything smaller?
I want to be a good cashier.
Everyone keeps ruining it for me.
People.
Hi.
Lexa, you have to help me.
I'm so hungry.
But I don't have any food.
I do, I bought gummy bears.
They wouldn't let me near them in the warehouse, so when I tried to grab some, they fired me.
I can't lift my arms now.
Hey!
Three days went by like nothing and it didn't bother me at all.
Yeah, sure.
Beer, brewsky, cold one.
I can't understand how I lasted so long without those words.
Marcelka, I urgently need to talk to you.
Ozzak has been talking to me all morning, but saying basically the same thing.
Twelve-pack, lager, dark, wheat beer.
Those words just caress the tongue, bro.
Marcelka, I'm worried about Iva.
I feel like she's overdoing it with the job.
It's nice that she's trying.
Yesterday she put price tags on everything at home.
And when she goes to the bathroom, she comes to ask my permission.
That is serious.
And she calls me sir.
You have to get her out of there, or she'll go crazy.
She won't listen.
Water, barley malt, hop products, lactic acid.
Ozzak, remember how I once promised I'd never let you leave work early?
Yeah.
Today you can.
Really?
Yeah.
Thanks.
You know, there's one thing I understood during those long years of silence, bro.
Some promises are totally useless.
Let's go, bro.
Two words, that's all I missed, three days.
Now tell me, where are those cheese curds?
The health inspectors came and took them away for testing.
No!
They won't return them for at least a month.
By then they'll be epic.
Iva, you look terrible, smile a little.
I already had my photo taken for the wall.
What happened?
The head manager fired me.
Well, you did your best.
I saw it myself.
I had what it takes.
I could have become cashier of the month.
Supposedly I don't smile enough at customers and don't give them enough plastic bags.
I was at the register and could take as many bags as I wanted.
What do you say, aww.
Not seriously.
And she smiled beautifully.
And you know who ratted me out?
Sasa!
Sasa?
Are you sure Sasa would do that?
I've lost my best friend.
Come on Ivuska, Harold isn't the only supermarket in the world.
And you're still young, your whole life ahead of you.
But I love this one!
So I'm going with the trash.
How can you even show your face here?
Iva, I...
You're not my friend anymore.
You're a careerist, so I'm not surprised.
Sorry, Iva, I...
You're a hyena.
I was worried about you.
You changed so much.
All you cared about was the register and the wall.
That's not true.
You put up a sign in the locker room saying only weaklings go to the bathroom during work hours.
And you volunteered for Saturday window washing.
Yesterday you even complimented the head manager on her new perm.
I was afraid you were completely losing it.
So I made up things to get you fired.
What?
I reported that you say "drop dead" to customers instead of goodbye.
What?
And that you threw a kilo of discounted mustard at a woman who complained.
You know I hate lying, but for you I managed.
So you did it to save me.
I quit too, I won't be there without you.
And I'll go skiing again with a sled, fine.
Kropackova can kiss my ass.
Bro, weren't you going to take out the trash?
I only said that to lighten the mood.
Bro, just like the old days!
Do you still have those signs?
I have a feeling I'm going to need them.